A New Sibling Is Coming

The arrival of a new baby, a new sibling, is an exciting process for the whole family. However, alongside this excitement, both parents and the older child may experience various concerns. While the mother and father try to adapt to the responsibilities of the newborn, the older child may struggle with the thought of no longer being the center of attention. This period brings winds of change at home and the establishment of a new routine. Over time, family members adapt to this new life, and worries turn into joyful shared experiences.

How to Prepare Your Older Child to Accept the Idea of a Sibling?

✔ Tell your child early on that they will have a sibling, but avoid statements like “You’re getting a playmate.” Such expectations may not match reality once the baby is born.

✔ Look through your child’s own baby photos and videos together. Explain that they were once a baby too and went through similar stages.

✔ If there is a newborn in your environment, visit them. This helps your child observe how newborns behave.

✔ Give small responsibilities related to the baby’s care. Say things like “I’ll be very happy if you help me; this way we can spend more time together.”

✔ Ask for their opinion about the baby’s room, belongings, clothes or even the name. Being included helps them feel valued.

✔ Avoid saying “You must love your sibling.” Instead, allow space for emotional expression. Use reassuring sentences such as: “I understand that you may feel sad or worried, but you are my one and only. Nothing will change that.”

✔ Do not change their daily routines. Sudden changes may increase anxiety. If you physically cannot continue certain routines, ask the father, grandmother or another family member for support.

✔ Avoid excessive attention due to worries like “They will be jealous” or “They will feel sad.” Too much attention can heighten emotions and make adjustments harder.

Things to Consider During the Birth Process

✔ Plan in advance who your child will stay with when you go to the hospital and share this with them.

✔ When your child visits the hospital or when you return home, try not to hold the baby in your arms during the first meeting. First hug your older child lovingly, then introduce the sibling.

✔ After the baby is born, encourage age-appropriate responsibilities such as bringing a blanket or diaper.

✔ If your child does not want to be involved in baby care, do not force them. Their relationship with the sibling will grow naturally over time.

Regression Behaviors in Older Children

After the baby’s arrival, the older child may display regression behaviors such as baby-like speech, wanting to breastfeed, or bed-wetting.

✔ Do not overreact. It is natural for the child to feel jealous or seek attention.

✔ Prevent these behaviors from becoming permanent by supporting the skills they had mastered before.

✔ Allow expression of emotions: “You may feel sad because of the baby, and that is completely normal.”

✔ Stop aggressive behaviors. Actions like hitting or biting should not be accepted. Set boundaries with phrases like: “I understand you’re angry, but hitting is not okay.”

Balancing School and the New Baby

✔ Avoid starting preschool immediately after the baby is born. The child may think they are being sent away because of the baby, leading to adjustment problems.

✔ If your child is already attending preschool, keep their routine stable. Removing them from school may increase feelings of jealousy.

Spending Quality Time With the Older Child

✔ Use the baby’s nap times as an opportunity for one-on-one moments with the older child.

✔ When the father, grandmother, caregiver or another support person is available, plan special activities for the older child.

✔ Avoid placing too much responsibility with sentences like “You are older now, you must act big.”

✔ Meet their emotional needs through play, storytelling, and meaningful interaction.

Conclusion

The arrival of a new sibling is both challenging and instructive for the older child.

✔ The most important factor is accepting their emotions and supporting them.
✔ Help them express their feelings and give them time to adapt to the new family dynamics.
✔ Making your older child feel valued reduces jealousy and strengthens sibling bonds.

Remember, within a few months, your child will also adapt to this new order!